Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
two words: eviction party
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
