Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
