no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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