i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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