I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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