when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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