I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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