i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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