we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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