Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Drunk is not a location!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
