The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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