i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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