I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
