do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
