you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
