dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
