You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
