I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize