I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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