is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
we're so committed to being not committed
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
