Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
