i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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