one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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