i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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