Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
