apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
