do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
