i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
