you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
