forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
