just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
