Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
