Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You are a genius and a whore.
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