whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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