Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
