woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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