I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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