All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
