I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
