Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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