Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
