Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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