This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
ok first of all what the fuck
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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