You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
