he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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