I'm really into asian looking animals
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I'm really busy with my period
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