You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
