Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
