He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
