What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
