New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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