i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
