I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She even gives head with a lisp.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
