Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
