well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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