Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
