i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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