you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
