So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
