I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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