I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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